Just a bit of proof that the entire world is engaged in a conspiracy to send me to the loony hospital from “12 Monkeys.”
A wonderful email arrived today from an individual who has attempted to return my call all weekend. He’s quite perturbed at me.
Just one problem: I never called him. In fact, I have no idea who he is.
Last week, a woman called, frantic for me to complete her case.
Her: I need to know that you’re done with my case. Didn’t you get my fax on Monday?
Me: I don’t know anything about your case. I didn’t get a fax. (Whilst frantically flipping through received faxes and wondering if I made a huge mistake, forgetting completely about a client in need of my help.)
Her: (Becoming extremely agitated.) We had an A-GREE-MENT! You said you’d have this done. You said you’d help MEEEEEE!
Me: (Still frantically searching my faxes, memory, email archives). Ummmm, well, what fax did you send it to?
Her: YOUR fax! 512-…
Me: Wait, that’s not my fax.
Her: Yes, it is! You gave it to me last week when we spoke.
Me: (Reviewing my call log frantically.) We talked last week?
Her: Isn’t this (Name of some attorney, not me).
Me: No, my name is Eric…
Her: Oh, wrong attorney. Sorry. (Click)