Dail 911

One of the most important things we should teach our kids is how to dail 911 when emergencies require it.

Knowing how to dail 911 should, obviously, be taught before spelling. When is the last time spelling saved a life? That’s right. Never.



Breaking America’s Moral Fiber

Just as I was responding to yet another passionate comment on my criticism of Boy Scout exclusionary policies. Just as I was reading another suggestion for me to form my own organization and get the hell out of “theirs.” Ken at Popehat arrives to make me feel a little bit better about my shameful advocacy for inclusion, my disgusting request that an organization which purports to have high ideals live those same ideals, and my odious support for those who are attempting to rip the United States to shreds.

Here’s the video. Thanks, Ken.


PS: Just so you know, I had the chance to complete two surveys for the Boy Scouts. One was as a Boy Scout parent (the one I discussed in a previous post), and the other was as a Boy Scout “alumnus.” So, I got two votes. I bet that makes some people angry, but not the right amount of angry.

Weekly Potential Client Hubris

The first statement is strong, and stands alone:

“Look, guy, I have questions, and  it’s against the law for you to not answer my calls.”

I hope he calls 911 to report me to the proper authorities.

The next statement needs a bit of explanation. When we are particularly busy on a case or project, our answering service allows us to screen voicemails while they are left and even listen to a bit of the chatter BEFORE the beep prompting a particular caller to begin a message. Listening to what is said prior to the beep can be very illuminating.

A recent call went something like this:

(potential client apparently talking to his wife or significant other prior to the tone) “This motherfucker better answer my questions. Some broad there wrote me back and…BEEP…Yes, my name is (name), and I’m looking for a lawyer for my case. If you could give me a call back, that would be great. My number is (number). Thank you so much.”

I won’t be returning the call, but my paralegal thoroughly enjoyed being called a “broad.”


As a kid, I remember really enjoying the Shrine Circus and not being deterred by the advertisements or fliers. I didn’t even have an issue with any of the clowns.

Things, of course, change.

From a conversation today with a precocious elementary school child:

Me: Hey, I see you have a ticket to see the circus. Wanna go?

Him: No, I don’t feel like seeing naked ladies and a scary clown.

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Wilkerson Follow-Up

A few days ago, I analyzed the decision of Air Force Lieutenant General Franklin to disapprove the findings of guilty in the sexual assault court-martial of Lieutenant Colonel James Wilkerson.

In the last few days, Senators grilled the top lawyers of each service about the current state of court-martial post-trial procedure, with apparent strong support for victim advocacy groups. A few members of congress even introduced (poorly crafted) bills to stop certain post-trial procedures.

Here is a bit from the opposing side of this argument, from a person who knows the Wilkerson case first-hand, his lawyer. Whereas I’ve never seen the record of trial or transcript, he lived through the event.

H/T to CAAFlog

The Army’s War Against Email Attachments

There’s one war where the Army has won every skirmish, every firefight, every battle, and every engagement.

That is the war against email attachments.

Luckily, they still allow soldiers to send JPGs of their junk to friends, family, and coworkers.

In accordance with NETCOM guidance 2004-11A,
AKO has begun stripping files with the following extensions:
.ace, .ad, .ade, .adp, .asp, .b64, .bas, .bat, .bhx, .ceo,
.ce0, .chm, .com, .cmd, .cpl, .crt,  .dbx, .dll, .dot, .eml, .exe,
.hlp, .hqx,  .hta, .inf, .ins, .js, .jse,  .lnk, .mdb, .mde, .mim, .msi,
.msp, .nch, .ocx,  .pi, .pif, .rar, .reg, .scr, .sct, .shb, .shs, .upx, .url,
.uue,  .uu, .vbe, .vbs, .vss, .vst, .vsw, .wmi, .ws, .wsc, .wsf,
.wsh, .xxe, and .zip.

Since this is an Army policy, AKO will not be able to grant exceptions.

Note: AKO stands for Army Knowledge Online.

Hey Boy Scouts, I Have Your Survey Right Here

So, today I received an online survey from the Boy Scouts of America. They want to know what I think, as the parent of a scout, of changing their policy on homosexual membership.

The problem is that they didn’t let me fully answer the questions. I was merely allowed to rank things on a numerical scale from “Totally Unacceptable” to “Totally Acceptable,” with a few in-between rankings. Mine were absolute, so I won’t bother you with the middling possibilities. Since they won’t let me re-access the survey to get the questions exactly, let me try to remember them as best as possible.

Question 1: Is it acceptable for a church (as a chartering organization for a scout unit) to deny membership to homosexual scouts or leaders.

My answer: Totally Unacceptable.

Why: Those organizations blatantly discriminate against segments of the population and are therefore incompatible with the values that the Boy Scouts of America purports to support and encourage. In short, policies of discrimination are completely incompatible with scouting values.

Question 2: Is it acceptable for a homosexual boy to be allowed to join Boy Scouts? (I believe this was styled as a question that had the homosexual boy joining an organization where my son is a member.)

My answer: Totally Acceptable.

Why:  Why not? Why discriminate? The life lessons taught by the scouting program do not ever touch on sexuality. Instead, they focus on life skills, treating others with dignity and respect, and leadership. How would the presence of a homosexual boy alter or diminish those central tenets? It wouldn’t, except that it might benefit the other boys who are taught a valuable lesson about tolerance, acceptance, and diversity because of his presence.

Question 3: Suppose a church sponsors a scout unit. Suppose that church allows homosexuals. Suppose the pastor of the church is homosexual and also a scout leader. Is it OK for him to take scouts on trips and campouts, even if youth protection policies are followed?

My answer: Totally Acceptable.

Why: See the why for question 2. The same applies here. Additionally, the assertion that gay=pedophile is one of the most ignorant, bullshit arguments I’ve ever heard. Whomever created that lie should be (figuratively) fed into my wood chipper. Feet first.

There you go. My answers to the 3 questions posed to me in the survey. So, why am I bugged so much that I’d write a blog post about it?

The fact that they even need to ask these questions shows that the organization is still a deplorable not-for-profit (or not-blatantly-for-profit) group of deluded and unethical scum who have no loyalty to the core values of the program.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.

The Boy Scout Program is a wonderful and enriching one that helps boys to be better men.

The Boy Scout Organization is a disgusting business that disguises itself as a not-for-profit and angelic presence in our society while supporting discriminatory policies.

Oh, and while we’re at it, they should also drop their ban on atheists and agnostics. Want to know why?

They say that atheists and agnostics are also incompatible with scouting values.


I have a few questions for the Boy Scout Organization.

Have you read a few of the headlines about the Catholic Church and little boys? Their reaction to the same allegations? Their policies concerning employment of women. Their history in the area of human rights? Yet, it is perfectly fine to be a devoted follower of this church.

Have you ever read a fact-based (as opposed to biased) biography of Joseph Smith? Do so. Then tell me if he embodied scouting values. Trustworthy? Clean? I think not. Yet, the organization wholeheartedly embraces the followers of the stuff he translated from reformed Egyptian language written on gold plates through a seeing stone. Oh, in a hat. The plates were also in a hat. I forgot to mention that.

Have you ever really read some of the atrocities committed by “god” in the Old Testament? Do those, in any way, embody your values?

Just think about it. Think about all the horrible, disgusting things that have happened in the name of religion. Sure, there are good things, too, but doesn’t the same hold true for those who have no belief (or no established and embraced belief)  in god? Maybe you’ll realize that perhaps atheists and agnostics aren’t so darned bad after all. Think about reading about the American Humanist Society (with many, many atheists), which advocates doing good things for people, not because they want to buy eternal salvation or approval from some all-powerful entity in the sky, but just because it’s a decent thing to do.

I guess that’s the real problem here, isn’t it? I’d be asking you to do something decent, and that’s just a bridge too far for the Organization.

Keep dragging your feet fellas (especially those earning handsome not-for-profit salaries in Irving, TX. Maybe those pesky and evil atheist homosexuals will someday shut up, or so I’m sure you’re hoping.