So, here’s how a college-bound teenager I know views the United States of America.
Blue: Acceptable states in which to attend college.
Red: Too hot and/or higher risk of being lynched.
Green: States populated by clones of Larry the Cable Guy.
Gray: Those states have colleges/universities? Who knew?
Pink: Areas where people do not use deodorant.
Burgundy: Will consider, but only for a very sweet, incentive-laden deal.
Orange: New England, which looks like the corner of the US where lint collects.
Neon Green: New Jersey, one big cesspool.
Black: An imaginary state, created on paper to allow for an even 50.