The Garage Door Just Opened

Something new is arriving at UA. I expect you to be completely underwhelmed.

You might call it a Hall-of-Fame of sorts. I disagree. Halls-of-Fame have fame to give, or bestow. I have none. This is more of a recognition. It’s an acknowledgment of a person’s place in one’s thoughts, development, or considerations.

You can't help but notice.

So, what do they get? What is this recognition? It’s a place in the White Cadillac.

My childhood, one in which the World War II Generation called the shots, is remembered for many things, but the cars were particularly noteworthy. They were huge, Detroit dinosaurs. Hockey could be played upon their expansive hoods. Doors, as big as the average queen-sized mattress, creaked and groaned as they opened and closed. These were the latter-day giants of an era where the most important choice among consumers was Regular or No-Lead.

Many could afford the Ford LTD, a powerhouse family-mobile. Others preferred the Gran Torino. Some chose upgrade Lincolns, or one of the many Buicks (oh, those WWII-ers loved, LOVED their Buicks).

Yet, a chosen few bought Caddy’s. Some preferred the Brougham as a practical upgrade to the average family-mobile. Yet others preferred something that made more of a statement, like a coupe DeVille (60s and 70s era). Yep, I’m talking the Boss-Hogg-mobile. It’s mere presence stated, “I own this town.”

Most who drove these amazing machines did, indeed, own their respective towns. Through this, emblematically, I give a key to the city, of sorts, to the individuals granted seats in this majestic vehicle.

So, UA now has it’s own Caddy. Everyone’s is different. As stated, mine is a land-whale DeVille. Others may choose one of the more modern BMW-competitors. Yet others prefer the 50s and 60s barges with fins and bling. Everyone’s preferred Caddy is different, but the spirit is the same.

Those earning a ride in the UA White Caddy will be varied. Some will be saints, while others sinners. Some may do good, while others cause suffering. Some may contribute to the legal field, while others tread elsewhere professionally. Some may be loved, others may inspire hatred. Some will be honored, some will be vilified. How do we know where they stand? Location, location, location.

One thing is for sure. They all did something we notice. They shaped us through grandiose deeds or their malevolent failings. Some may have a mix of both. Some may be here for a lifetime of work. Some may be here for mere moments in an otherwise unremarkable existence. Like everything on this blog, it all depends.

One thing, however, will be sure. They will all be decidedly human. Like those beautiful machines from old-Detroit, there’s room for everyone inside.


6 thoughts on “The Garage Door Just Opened

  1. Adrian had a ’78 Eldorado Biarritz in law school. It was colonial yellow with butter cream interior. He did what must be done with a car like that and took it to Vegas. Unfortunately, it exploded on the drive home. It sat on jack stands in front of his house for a few weeks before someone else adopted the beast. Its departure signaled the end of an exciting and highly unproductive era of poor financial decisions.

    I’m anything but underwhelmed. Hell of a car.

    • It’s really impossible to overstate the majesty of buttercream interiors.

      Had you not taken it to Vegas…well…the bad karma would be too much for the average human to bear.

  2. You clearly know your source materials. Get ready for the logical question:
    “Do you mind if we have a look in your trunk, sir?”

    • I spent my childhood riding in a Buick LeSabre with pristine, unused seat belts. I was allowed to ride on the armrest between the driver and passenger seats. No worries, though. I think the car weighed roughly the same as a modern Abrams tank.

      Sometimes, I’m very mindful of double entendres. Other times, I’m negligent.

      Here, I’m grossly negligent.

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