My Path to a Million

I’ll never make a million bucks practicing law, but I still have a plan to get there.


Glad you asked.

Step 1: Invent a special self-drying detergent that dissolves glitter makeup and eliminates perfume odors from clothing (especially expensive suits) and skin.

Step 2: Set up a kiosk on the last day of all Continuing Legal Education (CLE) multi-day seminars. Use this kiosk to market my detergent.

Step 3: Profit!


11 thoughts on “My Path to a Million

    • Absolutely.

      My detergent isn’t designed to eliminate coffee stains.

      After all, has any wife ever asked “Where did you get that coffee stain?” Nope. Has a coffee stain ever caused a man to spend nights on the couch? Nope. Coffee stains are innocent. Now, lipstick stains on the other hand…

      Crap, I’ll be amending the formula to address lipstick stains on white-collared shirts.

      Thanks for alerting me to this, Lyle. No, you don’t get a cut.

  1. I think we might end up in an arms race. The significant-other-memory-erasing prototype my firm’s been developing for our morally-challenged colleagues will totally make your invention yesterday’s news…

    • Mine is better than yours, and my detergent actually makes your gadget obsolete.

      To require yours, the significant other must have knowledge, react badly to that knowledge, and then necessitate the use of your memory eraser.

      Mine is completely prophylactic.

      Plus, the cost of manufacturing my detergent is likely far below the cost of you building a gadget that requires industrial design, microchips, etc. Plus, you’ll need to provide a warranty and some maintenance/exchanges/returns.

      I hope you know a good bankruptcy attorney.

      • Yeah, you’re probably right. Guess I’ll have to hire a really good lobbyist. Your product sounds like it might be injurious to the public and should probably be banned.

      • I intend to market my idea through Big Pharma. So, if you’re thinking about a legal challenge, you may want to think twice.

        But, I do look forward to seeing your late night commercials saying:

        “Have you or a loved one been injured while using “Stripper-B-Gone? If so, call the Law Offices of Matt Brown for your free consultation.”

  2. While your invention may have nefarious uses, its glitter disolving properties seem amazing and will probably help you widen your market to parents of glitter covered 3-16 year olds. Let me know when you get all the details sorted out, and I’ll help you with a patent.

    Also, on the 1 year anniversary of your practice, you might consider taking a bath as a reward to your family — then, for at least a day, you could be the washed advocate.

    • 1. You’re right. The secondary purposing of the product could be useful to parents. It’s like bourbon when we were kids.

      2. From this point forward, on the anniversary of my private practice opening, I will officially change the name of this blawg to “Washed Advocate” for the day. It’s too late this year, but I’ll get it Oct. 1, 2012. Hopefully, the world will not have ended by then.

      3. I’m glad to see you’re still out there. I began to worry. With Nebraska’s move to the B1G, I was thinking that, perhaps, you had decided to play snob with us Big 12 people.

  3. Another one of those so-freaking-simple-it’s-positively-brilliant ideas that I wish I’d thought of.

    I hate you.

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