I Get Press Releases…

Every now and then, I receive press releases from various places. They seek to spread their information by using free blog labor (folks like me).

Many times, the press releases center around law firm vanity polls. You know, things like “Top 10 Firms in America!” or “AmLaw 127!”).  So far, I’ve ignored them all, but not today, at least not completely. They still get no link love, and I’m only doing this for slight comic value. Nothing more.

Today, I received a press release about Vault.com’s law practice rankings. In short:

Vault.com, the source of ratings, rankings and insight for law students and lawyers, has released its Practice Area Rankings for 2012, examining how law firms rank in 25 practice areas ranging from Antitrust to Tax.

The release lists the name of what it considers to be fantastic law firms and offices based on practice areas. They also provide a small snippet (or quote) to show just how the particular firm is considered to be the cream of the crop. Frankly, I think this is as silly as the airline magazines that tout the “Best Steakhouses in America.” Those magazines really should say “Steakhouses that paid us some mad jack to say they are the best in America.”

It appears that a firm named “Skadden Arps” was a big winner this year. FYI, I’ve never heard of Skadden Arps. Though, I think I suffered from it as a child. Don’t worry, penicillin worked just fine, and it was gone in a week. But, the itch was unbearable.

Here’s part of the list:

Top Ranked Firms in Litigation Categories and Representative “Buzz” From Associates at Peer Firms:

General Commercial Litigation: Kirkland & Ellis (“Quietly great”)

Antitrust Litigation: Skadden Arps (“The leader in all things”)

Appellate Litigation: Gibson Dunn (“Top litigators”)

Class Actions: Skadden Arps (“Powerhouse”)

IP Litigation: Fish & Richardson (“IP warriors”)

Labor & Employment Disputes: Morgan Lewis (“Strong labor & employment practice”)

Products Liability: Skadden Arps (“Most impressed I have been with any firm”)

Securities Litigation: Skadden Arps (“They were smart and professional at all times”)

White Collar Defense/Internal Investigations: Williams & Connolly (“The best litigators in the country”)

What? No Military Law category? I feel cheated.

I’ve heard of none of these. Then again, I’m not exactly connected. The only big firm I’m acquainted with is “Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe,” and that is only because I am a loyal “Car Talk” listener.

DISCLAIMER. If you feel angry about this and contemplate suing me for some cockeyed reason, chill out. It’s just a little jokie joke. If you’re still angry, even after knowing it is a joke, I hope you develop a raging case of Skadden Arps.


2 thoughts on “I Get Press Releases…

    • For a post that involves my friends, I must have higher standards, and it’s original incarnation was even too half-assed for my low threshold. I promise I’ll make it up to you. Perhaps we should resurrect the “I’m a better lawyer/parent than you” debate. That was fun, wasn’t it?

      At the same time, please be aware that “Skadden Arps” infects females as well as males. Just remember to practice good personal hygiene, carry hand sanitizer, and wear sunscreen.

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