Poor Footwear Choices Mean Terrorists Win

Here’s the Army, showing again why they are always lauded for their keen sense of prioritization. (An ALARACT is a message sent to the entire Army to clarify or publish policies. It is short for All Army Activities.)

ALARACT 239/2011 – REQUEST FOR EXCEPTION TO POLICY TO PUBLISH ALARACT MODIFYING WEAR OF IMPROVED PHYSICAL FITNESS UNIFORM (IPFU)

THE PURPOSE OF THIS MESSAGE IS TO MODIFY THE EXISTING WEAR POLICY FOR THE IPFU.

THERE ARE A VARIETY OF MINIMALIST RUNNING SHOES AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE AND WEAR.  EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, ONLY THOSE SHOES THAT ACCOMMODATE ALL FIVE TOES IN ONE COMPARTMENT ARE AUTHORIZED FOR WEAR.  THOSE SHOES THAT FEATURE FIVE SEPARATE, INDIVIDUAL COMPARTMENTS FOR THE TOES, DETRACT FROM A PROFESSIONAL MILITARY IMAGE AND ARE PROHIBITED FOR WEAR WITH THE IPFU OR WHEN CONDUCTING PHYSICAL TRAINING IN MILITARY FORMATION.

One toe out of the correct compartment may mean the difference between life and death. Everyone knows us civilians are looking with a critical eye at the professional military appearance of soldiers during physical training.

Please, for god sake, don’t let the terrorists win by wearing some of those Vibram 5-toe jobbies.

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2 thoughts on “Poor Footwear Choices Mean Terrorists Win

  1. A sad, sad day. I wonder if the awesome seniors that pushed this Alaract message can pass the tape test or the PT test. What a sad day for Soldiers. One step forward with the soft cap, two steps back with this.
    Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.

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