Azimuth Check: Osama Fever!

Here’s yet another potpourri of brain droppings from my nefarious mind.

Did we miss an opportunity?

The neanderthal side of me is happy to know (presumably) that Osama bin Laden is dead. The evolved side of me sees this as a missed opportunity.

At this point, there are conflicting stories about whether he was armed or not, using a wife as a human shield, or just sitting on his bed saying “can a dude get some privacy around here?” Absent evidence to the contrary, I’ll assume that the SEAL raid operated as conscientiously as possible.

Let’s assume though, for a moment, that he could have been captured alive. If so, then we missed a golden opportunity to show the world that we are a class act. I wanted the world to see a textbook-quality fair trial. I wanted us to show the world that we believe, truly, that all people “are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights.” I wanted him to be prosecuted, and I wanted him to be defended. I wanted the world to see a prosecutor working quietly and professionally. I wanted them to see a defense attorney (or team) working diligently to preserve their client’s rights. I wanted a judge to oversee the proceeding and demand the proper execution of the rule of law. I wanted a jury to consider facts fully and fairly. I wanted the world to see him treated with dignity, respect, and due process despite our very human urges to see him suffer and summarily die. I wanted complete transparency.

That type of decency and restraint would send a powerful message.

Of course, I also liked the idea that, if found guilty, he might spend his remaining days in Colorado completely shuttered from all human contact in a SuperDuperMax Prison.

Osama Water?

Consider this:

Osama was buried at sea. That sea, presumably, was the Indian Ocean. The Indian Ocean is roughly Southwest of the Pacific Ocean, and the two bodies of water connect in numerous locations.

The human body is primarily water.

Osama’s body will decompose, and the water from his body mixes with the water of the Indian Ocean.

Air currents flowing from the Indian Ocean and Pacific Ocean sweep in a Northeasterly direction, scooping water vapor from the oceans and providing rainfall to much of North America.

Much of this rainfall dumps on the Rocky Mountains, trickling-down through cool, crisp mountain streams.

Just think about that the next time you crack open an ice-cold Coors Light.

Final Piece of Internet-Driven Correspondence

Undoubtedly, you’ve seen oodles of interviews with government officials talking about Osama’s death and the state of terror adjudications by our government.

In each, a reporter asks a question about “torture.” The government officials respond by talking about “enhanced interrogation techniques.”

I can’t take it anymore.

It makes me want to sneak into the office of a federal official and leave a spontaneous rectal waste deposit upon his elevated horizontal workstation.


2 thoughts on “Azimuth Check: Osama Fever!

  1. I see this as a great for defense E&M in the military.

    Company Commander: It hurt us that PVT Snuffy wasn’t there for the deployment.

    DC: Company Commander, are you aware that we recently killed Osama?

    Company Commander: I am.

    DC: And we did that without PVT Snuffy, correct?

    Company Commander: That’s correct, but …

    DC: That’s all, thank you.

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