Are You Complaining About Snow??? (Updated x2)

For all you folks lamenting excessive seasonal snowfall while drinking hot chocolate in your McMansions, check out what we got at Fort Leonard Wood.

H/T to Capt. Spaulding’s World for posting the pic.

Also, feel free to check out this pic of a guy who’s been watching way too much Discovery Channel. Seriously, dude, the iPhone is great and all, but it ain’t going to protect you from tornado-force winds.

FYI, I wasn’t anywhere near Fort Leonard Wood at the time of the tornado, and reports indicate nobody was hurt.

I don’t believe in Global Warming anymore. Now, I believe in Global Fucking Insanity.

UPDATE: And suddenly it dawns on me that my 5th Wheel (a camping trailer) is parked in a lot near the tornado’s path.

UPDATE 2: Here’s a video of some damage at the Fort Leonard Wood Museum. My poor rig is located just over the hill. On a positive note, a lesson I’ve learned from watching the video is that, if a tornado is approaching, you should jump into the nearest tank.

They’s Gots to Be Some Killin’

Tucker Carlson’s misguided comments on national television reverberated a bit across the tubes as of late. In case you didn’t see it, here’s the video (H/T to Chuck Newton):

Execution for dogfighting? I suppose that may be popular in Suffolk County, NY, but I hesitate to think most decent folks would agree.

Why are harsh punishments so popular? Has there yet been a DA candidate who doesn’t run on a platform of “getting tougher on crime.” When candidates for any political office receive questions about crime and criminal justice, they all respond with some flavor of tightening the corset of justice just a bit more. It doesn’t matter the candidate. I guarantee that, if you asked a prospective candidate for Register of Deeds about criminal justice, he’d tell you that his goal is to use his position to make the county get tough on crime.

Have you ever heard of a candidate saying “I think we should take a close look at our criminal statutes and sentencing guidelines to ensure that people are punished appropriately, and not too harshly?” Never. A statement like that gets you the support of the CDL bar, a few civil libertarians and criminologists, and nobody else.

In my lifetime, statutory guidance on sentences (especially minimums) have skyrocketed. We hear about 3 strikes, 2 strikes, criminal recidivism, and the ever-specific-term “evil.”

What is to blame for the creep in harsh sentences? Why do some feel the need to institute the death penalty for intentionally killing a few pit bulls? I’ve got an answer. Movies did it.

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But, What About the Victim?

US Navy 040719-N-2101W-001 USS Kitty Hawk (CV ...
If they can build and maintain this behemoth, wouldn't you think they could get victim advocacy right? Image via Wikipedia

But, what about the victim?

I hear the question all the time when I represent a service member who is charged/convicted of misconduct that involves a human object of the crime. It arises in typical fashion after I advocate particularly hard on some issue involving my client. I must remind the asker that my duty is to represent the interests of my client, and that a multitude of others are charged with holding the tissue box of the (alleged) victim. These others include prosecutors, paralegals, investigators, special agents, and victim advocates. The latter, in particular, are responsible for handling all needs and wants of the alleged victim. Why do they insist upon asking why I’m not chipping-in my support? I have great confidence in the caring abilities of the prosecutorial/victim advocate team.

Perhaps my confidence is misguided or misplaced.

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A Curmudgeon’s Christmas

Originally published as a comment to a post at My Law License.

Christmas arrived once more, and the old curmudgeon at Simple Justice sat hunched over his keyboard. It was an old keyboard, once white, now stained a light, tannish brown. Some keys were missing, but he didn’t care. He’d never need to use “PrintScr” again. Not with his latest version of DOS. The large, yellowed computer box sat under his desk, streaked with shoe polish from being kicked on particularly trying days. The words, UNIVAC displayed faintly on its face next to the 5 1/4 inch floppy drive.

The faint light from the green, monochrome screen made his face look ruddy, but he didn’t care. He was alone. Just he and his blawg.

Tonight, he wouldn’t be disturbed. His phone, with its crystalish, rotary dial never rang at this time of night, and the cell phone, mandated by his wife, sat silent, turned off. The words JITTERBUG glowed lightly in bold cursive. AARP said it was the best phone. By god, if AARP says it’s good, then it must be damn good.

He tried to play nicely with others. He really did. He even opened a contest for the best blawg post, but that brought him nothing but despair. Some guy named Jamison shat upon the page with dozens of submissions, tearing a hole in the bandwidth. One of the posts, he suspected, was from ESPN, and not a blawg at all.

Tonight was the night when everyone across the blawgosphere would get their new toys. There were touch things.  There were internet things. There were books in computers. There was legal research that looked like Google. There were Judges who, starting tonight, would start accepting motions filed over email. There were gadgets and gizmos. Some with apples, and some with other, glowing displays. To him, they were all fruity. The bile welled-up in his throat.

“Merry F-ing Christmas” he thought to himself as he prodded the yellowed keys. He’d be done in a few minutes with this post. Free again, for awhile.

Then, he’d do what he always did at this festive time of year while everyone else dreamed of gifts with lithium-ion batteries. He’d replace the pocket parts on all of his federal reporters. In these days of electronic unhappiness, it was the one thing that gave him sheer glee, if only for a while.

Good Day Homo Erectus!

I get a lot of spam comments on this blog, as I am sure most blogs do. Luckily, a system called Akismet has done a great job of filtering these things out. Each time Akismet detects a potential spam comment, it segregates it to a comment purgatory where, once a week or so, I review the potential spam and nuke them into oblivion.

Before I nuke them, I scan the words to make sure that I am not nuking a legitimate comment. As of yet, I’ve not yet seen a legit comment roughed-up by the Akismet police. As I read the spam, most of it is the same one to four line generic blurp designed to appear, to the novice eye, as a heartfelt appraisal or thanks. Some, however, make me laugh at their absurdity. Below is one of those comments. Take a look, dudes.

Good day homo erectus! What a solid website, in spite of the fact that not everything is functioning correctly! But that is up to the administrator to take into account… But anyway, what I wanted to share is this internet site I just now got a link to that says that real love is possible with whose who were born on exactly the same date of the year as you, since everyone born on exactly the same date are essentially the same! It sounds like a bunch of astrological crap to me, but I checked out some of their demo videos and some of the psychological portraits correspond to people I know. I agree that their English pronunciation could be better, but oh well, if they really have done their research as they claim and proved it this potentially could completely change our lives and the way we look for partners! Take a look, dudes.