A Most Wonderful Time For Me

Mall of America
Ah, the Mall of America. Just sitting there, chocked-full of stuff. All for me. (Photo credit: Matti Mattila)

Thank goodness for the holiday season.

For the rest of the year, I’m constantly badgered by potential clients and family members wanting me to help someone (or themselves). Sure, I charge for my services, but I also realize that I give far more than I receive. If I truly charged for all of my time and efforts, I’d earn 3-4 times what I earn now. Call it bad business. Call it careless accounting. Either way, I spend the majority of the year giving and attempting to care for others–often more than they care for themselves.

Then, things slow during the holiday season. The attentions of others are diverted to their family and friends, and they forget about me for a few weeks.

Finally, a chance to focus on myself and those close to me. During this small window of time, I need to act quickly and decisively. Thankfully, commercialism helps me to make split-second decisions to benefit myself and those who I’d rescue from a fire before you.

Flip on the TV and bam, in 15 minutes I receive a short synopsis of everything I could possibly want, need, or give during this festive time of year. The internet is even better, with ads on all my favorite websites leading me to lush depictions of everything I could ever dream of owning or gifting. Thanks to big, corporate America, I’m able to give and get more than just corduroy pants.

They also throw a couple of well-timed distractions to cause others to focus less on legal issues and more on spending those potential retainers on exciting and thoughtful do-dads.

So, thank you commercialism. Thank you corporations. Thank you government subsidies in support of the aforementioned two. Because of you, I can make the most of giving to #1 this yuletide season. Otherwise, I’d be forced to spend another couple of weeks helping others and not thinking solely of myself.

Nobody wants that. After all, it sounds like something Christ would do.

Happy Holidays to me. Indeed.

6 thoughts on “A Most Wonderful Time For Me

  1. I was hoping for a nice pair of cords, and got a do-dad instead. It wasn’t even thoughtful. Now I hate Christmas. I may go to the mall to drown my disappointment.

    1. Might I suggest the Westchester Mall? It’s a great opportunity to view hordes of Joey Buttafuoco lookalikes.

      Mother-in-Law getting you down?

Comments are closed.